Thursday, December 18, 2014

Has "The Interview II" been green-lighted?

I almost titled this post "Has 'The Interview II' been green-lighted? You won't believe the opening scene!" But that would have been too low.

Before detailing the news below, I should remind you that this is information THAT YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYWHERE ELSE. (Hint, hint.)

That having been said, I should quickly point out something from "The Interview I" that has concerned some people. According to multiple sources, including IMDB, famed restaurant "critic" Guy Fieri had a role in "The Interview." He was supposed to play the part of Guy Fieri. When all of the brouhaha ended up cancelling the Christmas release of "The Interview," no one was more upset than the world's number one Guy Fieri fan.


Well, Mark, if the spurious information that I have received is correct, you will be very happy in 18 months.

According to this information, financiers in Florida have promised to provide full funding for a sequel to the cancelled movie. In the sequel, entitled "The Interview II," the characters played by James Franco and Seth Rogen secure an interview with Raul Castro, leader of the island nation of Cuba. Based upon the source of the financing, I think you know how the movie is going to end.

But before that, the draft script for the film sets the scene with a very prominent role for Guy Fieri, who will again play Guy Fieri.

(A nearly empty street in downtown Havana. Guy Fieri is sitting behind the wheel of a huge 1950s automobile. A camera is pointed toward him.

GUY FIERI: Welcome to this special edition of "Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives!" In this special edition, I'm going to take this baby for a spin through the streets of Havana, Cuba! Now that it's easier than ever to come down here, I want to let you gringos know the best places to get some authentic Cuban food! So, let's go!


GUY FIERI: Hey, the car won't start! Can we redo that last line?

(The camera is pointed at Fieri.)

GUY FIERI: I want to let you gringos know the best places to get some authentic Cuban food! So, let's go! ... Damn! This car is a pile of crap! Go get another one!

CUBAN ASSISTANT: Mr. Fuego, there are no other cars.

GUY FIERI: Well, you just get Raul on the line and tell him that I can't film a drive in show if my car won't drive!

CUBAN ASSISTANT: We can get ten people to push the car for you, Mr. Fuego.

GUY FIERI: Forget it! We can just film this scene on a Hollywood back lot! I got to keep to schedule. Now how am I going to get to the first restaurant?

CUBAN ASSISTANT: Mr. Fuego, you have to shoot the opening scene here. Right now.

GUY FIERI: The hell I do! Now let's get-

CUBAN ASSISTANT: Excuse me, Mr. Fuego. You will shoot the scene now. Here.

GUY FIERI: Who's gonna make me? You and what army?


(Several Cuban military officers drag GUY FIERI out of the automobile and take him away.)

When Fuego - I mean Fieri - actually performs this scene, I think that we will see a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination.
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