What if computer science had been invented by men?

If computer science had been invented by men, programs would have been recorded on beer bottles.

If computer science had been invented by men, there wouldn't be any compilers. The program would take its own dang time to run; get off my back!

If computer science had been invented by men, cash register companies wouldn't be dabbling in computing. (See the aforementioned comment on beer.)

If computer science had been invented by men, there would be no "how to" books on computing. Men don't need directions, you know.

If computer science had been invented by men, the leading Hollywood figure to contribute to computing would have been W.C. Fields. (Yeah, see the aforementioned comment. I'm...um, milking it for all it's worth.)

If you're puzzled by this post, see this Mara Mascaro share on Google+ and Kenneth Love's comment on this post.