Let's just admit it - spies are in your juice

Come on, people.

As I write this, Google+ is erupting in...um, shock and awe about this disclosure:

Rep. Nadler's disclosure that NSA analysts can listen to calls without court orders came during a House Judiciary hearing on Thursday that included FBI director Robert Mueller as a witness.

Mueller initially sought to downplay concerns about NSA surveillance by claiming that, to listen to a phone call, the government would need to seek "a special, a particularized order from the FISA court directed at that particular phone of that particular individual."

Is information about that procedure "classified in any way?" Nadler asked.
"I don't think so," Mueller replied.

"Then I can say the following," Nadler said. "We heard precisely the opposite at the briefing the other day. We heard precisely that you could get the specific information from that telephone simply based on an analyst deciding that...In other words, what you just said is incorrect. So there's a conflict."

And everyone is now running around, lamenting that our freedom has been lost.

Well, if you're lamenting about the loss of your freedom under Obama and Bush, you'd better sit down. Because you ain't heard nothing yet.

It's very likely that the Department of Transportation is monitoring your odometer, your speedometer, and just about every other ometer in your car.

And it's very likely that the Department of the Interior is measuring the amount of dirt on the bottom of your shoes.

And it's extremely likely that the Centers for Disease Control is keeping detailed records of your condom purchases.

And it's almost certain that the NSA is in your juice.

Actually, I didn't make that last one up, because the NSA is in your juice. Sort of.

I had never heard of Juice Plus+ before, but they have to be owned by Google. Not only are they using the Plus symbol, but they're pioneering the establishment of virtual franchises.

Now that you enjoy the healthful benefits of Juice Plus+, you understand its potential to help you create a healthier lifestyle. Likewise, when you become a Juice Plus+ representative and start your own Virtual Franchise, you’ll understand its potential to help you build a part-time income while making a difference in the lives of others.

So you're at the Juice Plus Virtual Franchise website, and as a curious person, you want to learn a little more about the company. That's where you run into this.

NSA, the maker of Juice Plus+®, is a privately owned company headquartered in Collierville, Tennessee, a suburb of Memphis.

Founded in 1970 by its current president Jay Martin, NSA has evolved its person-to-person marketing model into the unique Juice Plus+ Virtual Franchise® system of today.

Under Jay’s leadership, NSA has grown from a small direct sales company into a highly profitable, multi-million dollar company operating in more than 20 countries.

And that's just what they'll talk about publicly. But even here, NSA admits that they're active in more than 20 countries, including the United States.

We're all worried about our emails and phone calls, and all the time NSA has been controlling our juice. And also our smoke detectors and our air filtration devices. Yeah, it's worse than any of you thought.

OK, yes, I know that in this case "NSA" is not the National Security Agency. But I searched throughout the entire Juice Plus+ Virtual Franchise website and was unable to find anything that said what the acronym NSA actually represented. As far as the company is concerned, the company wants to be known only as "NSA."

What could go wrong?

Actually, after some investigation I found the actual name of the company at a site called MLM Watch - a site that National Safety Associates would probably prefer that you not visit. Although this source says that the company name is really National Security Associates. Well, whatever name they used to use, they are now officially NSA, LLC.

I bet that the company is regretting that fact at this moment.