Priceless real estate speak - when Bob Lindsay joined Re/Max

Real estate agents, even the good ones, have a tendency to describe things in EXTREMELY positive terms. A house could be falling apart, and the real estate listing will say that it "needs TLC." An apartment the size of a closet is "cozy."

But the best example of real estate writing ever was publishing in NorthJersey.com on May 24, 2012. In this particular case, NorthJersey.com just re-ran a press release - not about a house, but about a realtor.

The story begins as follows:

WAYNE - Youssef Genid, owner of RE/MAX Legend Realty in Wayne has announced that award-winning agent Robert "Bob" Lindsay has joined his company as a broker-sales associate. Lindsay has been recognized over the years as the top producer for Coldwell Banker in Wayne but he looks forward to this new chapter in his career.

"Over the course of my 36-year career in real estate, this is only the 3rd time I've changed firms - in our industry that's infrequent. I'm not a person who likes to jump around," said Lindsay. "I had a wonderful experience over the years at Coldwell Banker but I achieved all my goals there and I'm moving forward knowing that the business model at RE/MAX is much more suitable for my skill set and how I operate. I am excited over the flexibility their systems offer and I am eager to show my clientele the numerous advantages I can provide them with this move. RE/MAX allows me to be directly responsive to my clients and allows me to tailor my service to their needs."

Some of you are already guffawing at Lindsay's discussion of his skill set and how he operates, and how Lindsay achieved all his goals at Coldwell Banker.

If you're...um, in the dark about this, check my previous post, Bob Lindsay - Energy and Experience? You see, it's alleged that one of Lindsay's goals that he achieved at Coldwell Banker was to have sex with a fellow real estate agent multiple times - in a client's home that he was supposed to be selling.