Monday, November 24, 2014

When testimonials don't ring true (so our Flavia coffee machine has Windows registry errors?)

As long-time readers of this blog know, our office has had Flavia coffee machines for years. In fact, we're on our second generation of Flavia machines.

If you're not familiar with a Flavia coffee machine, it is an automated machine based upon the same principles as the Keurig and Nespresso machines. The Flavia machine has a small display screen with buttons that allow you to make your selection - coffee, tea, latte, or whatever. You then put the appropriate packet (or packets) in the machine, and your drink is prepared for you with 21st century technological charm.

Our new generation Flavia machines like to display a particular error code every once in a while, and in an effort to find out more about the error, I turned to the wisdom of the Internet. I ran across this:

Incidentally, I was not getting error 328 on our Flavia machines - I was getting another error - but something about this text struck me as odd. I have no idea what operating system platform is used to run the Flavia software, and it's quite possible that some form of Windows is running behind the scenes. However, errors on devices such as a Flavia coffee machine usually indicate a hardware problem, not a software problem, so I'm not certain that a Windows registry error fixer is the type of tool that I need.

(Incidentally, I am intentionally NOT linking to the page in question - which is NOT - because, after spending a few seconds on the page, I received a suggestion to download some software. While I'm certain that the software is wonderful and free and will never cost you a dime, others may disagree with my opinion.)

My misgivings were only amplified as I continued to read the page and ran across some testimonials for the software, describing the customers' pleasure at its ability to fix Windows Flavia Coffee Machine Error 328.

Yeah, right.

I can just picture the scene now, very early on the morning of September 25.


"Yes, honey?"

"I can't get any coffee from the coffee machine!"

"Why are you getting coffee at 2:47 in the morning?"

"I was thirsty. Erick, maybe it wasn't a good idea to install a corporate coffee machine in our house."

"Now honey, don't worry. I bet it's just a registry error. I heard about some software that can fix those. I'll download it and fix your coffee machine within the hour!"

"Oh, Erick, you're the best husband I ever had!"

"But honey, I'm the only husband you ever had!"

"No, I told you about Jimmy, the Xerox copier repair technician. And before that there was Charlie, the Boeing aircraft engineer. And in high school I dated Fred, who worked after school at the machine gun factory. He's the one who died in that tragic accident. Erick? Erick?"

P.S. After composing this post, I found a 2008 Flavia error codes handbook on Docstoc (downloadable here). Error code 328 is a "pack eject timeout" error (the packet of coffee or tea or whatever is jammed in the machine). I couldn't find the error code that I was looking for, but our current machines were probably manufactured after this 2008 book was published.
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