By Asa Wilson - CubeSpace, CC BY-SA 2.0, Link
Dave was the Chief Enterprise Independent Experiential Innovation Officer at GrungeBeanie. Not to be confused with the clothing style, GrungeBeanie was a Generation BB paradigm-shifting firm using actionable analytics and post-blockchain-based seventh-generation hyper-reality to revolutionize the gig transit market.
Unlike the stodgy Ubers and Lyfts of the world, GrungeBeanie was revolutionizing the transportation ecosystem - or would be doing so, once its beta app was approved by the various app stores.
Well, once the app had actually been coded.
And once the coders had been contracted.
Well, once the first sprint of the overall requirements had been finalized.
But things would be happening Real Soon Now.
Despite having a half billion dollars in venture capital funding, GrungeBeanie only had three full-time employees, although GrungeBeanie's presence would change dramatically once the app was out and people were selected to work with GrungeBeanie.
But all of that paradigm-shifting can work up an appetite, so despite the heavy workload, Dave decided to step outside GrungeBeanie's coworking space and go to the FeldGrau Burger franchise across the street for a quick bite.
Dave stepped into FeldGrau and was immediately greeted by a robot that buzzed up to him.
By Photo by Gnsin - Gnsin, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
"Are you registered?" the robot asked.
"What?" Dave replied.
The robot immediately went stationary and said, "Please wait for a human."
Seeing no human, Dave wandered around the restaurant and finally found a woman in a uniform sitting at a table. Her badge read "Emily, Independent Experience Consultant."
"Where can I order lunch?" Dave asked.
Emily barely looked at Dave. "What do you want?"
"Just a simple burger," Dave replied.
By Super Rabbit One from UK - MmmmmmmmmUploaded by Fæ, CC BY-SA 2.0, Link
Emily sat there for a moment. "Oh," she said, and then said nothing else.
After a few moments of silence, Dave finally spoke up. "Well?"
Emily looked up. "You don't want a full meal?"
"No, just a burger."
Emily said and did nothing.
Dave was getting impatient. "You do work here, don't you?"
Emily pointed to her Independent Experience Consultant badge. "Duh!"
Dave had finally had it. "Listen, I have a business of my own - I'm the CEIEIO there - and the way that business works is that a customer asks for a product or service, and the business provides it. I have half a mind to contact FeldGrau and let them know that Emily does absolutely nothing!"
Emily did not seem frightened in the least. "I don't work for FeldGrau."
Dave rolled his eyes. "OK, the FRANCHISE, then. I'll contact them, and I can assure you that you won't be an employee of the franchise any more."
Emily started laughing. "I'm not an employee of the franchise. Surely you know that, if you're a CEIEIO. I'm an independent contractor, and my compensation is maximized when people order actual MEALS, not just burgers. I don't have time to bother with burger orderers. Now there's a new contractor who's desperate, and when she shows up later today - if she shows - maybe she'll sell you-"
Emily's watch rang.
By Orangeboxes2 - Own work, CC0, Link
"I have to take this call. It's my parole officer." After a moment, Emily started speaking. "Yes, you got my geolocation right. Yup, I'm gigging at a burger place." After hearing excited comments on the other end of the phone, Emily continued. "No, the owner didn't really care about my embezzlement convictions. We don't interact with the payments anyways. And we don't take cash or plastic, so I couldn't rip off this place if I wanted to. And I don't want to get my third strike."
Dave couldn't help himself. "You're a two-time felon and you're working here? How did they hire you? Didn't they do an employment check?"
Emily walked away from Dave, throwing her "Independent Experience Consultant" badge in the trash as she continued to talk on her watch. "Hey, do you know anyone in computer security who's looking for people?"
Dave watched in silence as the robot followed Emily out the door.
