Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Is that a best of breed, out of the box ninja?

Perhaps I saw it on LinkedIn.

I don't recall the specific details, but the item talked about signs of a poor organization. One of those signs was referring to your employees as "ninjas."

Now perhaps it's worthwhile to review the actual definition of the term ninja:

a member of a feudal Japanese society of mercenary agents, highly trained in martial arts and stealth (ninjutsu) who were hired for covert purposes ranging from espionage to sabotage and assassination.

I would be willing to bet that most organizations are not feudal organizations, and that they don't want their employees to sneak up on people and kill them.

Well, at least I'd be willing to say that organizations don't endorse killing people. Feudalism might be wonderful from their perspective.

So one day, I thought I'd find a company that actually used the term ninja to see what it was really talking about, and found this - a blog post seeking a "go-to-market ninja."

Even the hiring company admitted that they probably couldn't get a real ninja, and therefore would settle for "people who were ninja-like." I guess that means that they won't kill their enemies; they'll just laugh at them or something.

Unfortunately, the company's love of cliches did not stop with the misuse of the term ninja.

This ninja’s goal? To manage the 4 members of the Outreach Team and level-up our sales and marketing presence in the community–swiftly and with monster-truck force.

Ninjas AND monster trucks? But wait - it gets better.

Imperfect is a mission-driven startup...

As opposed to a startup with no mission whatsoever. Or perhaps the founders are practicing Roman Catholics. Forgiveness certainly plays a theme in this mission:

Imperfect is on a mission to find a home for these misshapen fruits and veggies in people’s fridges by selling them for a 30-50% discount with a lovable, hip brand.

Hint from an old (over 25) geezer - if you have to say you're hip, you're not.

Even if you're a lovable, hip monster-truck ninja.
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