Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Offensive Football League, for real

Back in early September 2013, I wrote a parody futuristic post about a mythical sports league called the Offensive Football League. The post consisted of the supposed commentary by sportscaster Marv Albert during the inaugural OFL game. As part of that commentary, Albert explained the rules of the new league.

Now for those of you who haven't paid attention to all of the OFL talk, you'll immediately notice a couple of major differences between the OFL and the NFL. The first is that the Enlightened is not lining up to receive a kickoff from the Resistance. That's because in OFL football, there IS no kickoff. The offense simply lines up at their own 20 yard line.

Now you've also noticed that San Francisco has not yet taken the field. Again, this is because of an OFL rules change. In the OFL, there is no defense. Other than that, it's the same as the NFL. The offense gets four downs to advance ten yards. If they are unable to do so, the opposing team takes the ball at its own 20. This resulted from the wisdom of the crowds, who wanted to see more offense. In that case, why bother with a defense? And the team owners like the arrangement also, since their personnel costs were cut in half. Actually, more than half, since there are no punters and no kickers. Extra points after touchdowns were eliminated because two point conversions bring more -

At this point, Albert interrupted his commentary to provide play-by-play for the first official OFL game. You can see the results of the first play here.

Ha ha ha. As if football would ever switch to an offense-only configuration in real life.

Since I wrote that post, 1 1/2 NFL seasons have gone into the books. And yes, defense still exists in the NFL.

But we rarely talk about it.

Back in 2013, the Philadelphia Eagles played their first games under new coach Chip Kelly, and we're talking about what Kelly is doing. You can bet that Brandon George of the Dallas Morning News is talking about it - Dallas is facing Philadelphia tomorrow.

This isn’t an ideal time in the Cowboys’ schedule for a short week of preparation.

And it has nothing to do with all the earthquakes around Dallas these days.

What has more magnitude for the Cowboys this week has wings.

The energized Philadelphia offense challenges defenses like no other team in the league because of the Eagles’ up-tempo style of play.

Many NFL teams use a hurry-up offense at times. The Eagles do it every play.

P.S. Yes, events in 2014 have conspired to give the title "Offensive Football League" a whole new meaning - such that when Katy Perry was officially announced as the Super Bowl halftime entertainment, one comment thread included the following:

I was hoping for Chris Brown.

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