Juan Valdez was content as he sat in the main room of his house. The windows were open, the air was crisp, and the aroma of coffee beans filled the air. Valdez had tended his family's coffee plantation for many years, but today he was relaxing and enjoying the peaceful morning.
As he sat, he realized that he only lacked one thing to make it a perfect morning.
"I need a cup of coffee," Valdez said to himself.
Juan arose from his chair, went to his kitchen, and turned on his coffee pot.
"My old coffee machine no longer works," said Valdez to himself. "I must purchase a new one." So he went to the barn, saddled up, and rode down to town.
I would like a coffee maker," said Valdez to the friendly sales associate. (Whether you are in rural Colombia or in Atlanta, Georgia, the sales associates are always friendly. Usually.)
"I will be happy to help you," the sales associate replied. "In fact, we just got a new coffee maker in the shop that I know that you will love!"
The sales associate asked Valdez to go to the appliances area, and she gestured at a store model of a shiny new coffee maker. "This," she said, "is the latest Keurig coffee maker."
"It looks very different from my old coffee maker," said Valdez as he carefully examined the strange device. "Where do I put the filter?"
"This is the latest technology, and a filter is no longer required," replied the perky sales associate as she opened up a small door in the coffeemaker. "You just put your coffee pod into this little area here, close the door" - she did so - "then you press a button and you get a single cup of coffee!"
Valdez was amazed. "So," he asked for clarification, "I can just take my coffee, put it in a pod, and brew a single cup?"
"You don't need to supply your own coffee," the salesperson clarified. "Keurig can provide coffee for you!"
"But I like my own coffee. I am Juan Valdez, the greatest coffeemaker in the world. People all over the world talk about my coffee. I do not want Keurig's coffee. I want my own beans, that I have lovingly grown in the Colombian climate. I can use my own coffee, can I not?"
The sales associate became less perky and less friendly.
"Keurig cares for you," she said in measured tones. "Keurig does not want you to have a bad coffee experience with inferior coffee. Therefore, Keurig has taken steps to ensure that only the best Keurig-authorized coffees can be used in your new Keurig coffeemaker."
Valdez stood there for what appeared to be an eternity.
"I give up," Valdez said. "I will sell cocaine instead."
The salesperson replied, "Have you heard about Keurig's new crack pipes? They use authorized Keurig cocaine from the finest growers. Would you like to become a supplier?"
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