Wednesday, August 3, 2011

When a well-respected chef tried to buy a Helocar (apologies to @realchriswebber)

It had been a tough week for Executive Chef Luc Rochedy. Sunday night was the toughest, when some uneducated cretin tried to order steak sauce for the steak that Chef Rochedy had expertly prepared.

But the chef's work week was done, and he had a couple of brief days of relaxation. The pay as an executive chef was superb, and he was going to indulge himself by buying a Helocar.

Can I help you?" asked a smiling, fresh-faced saleswoman - I mean, automotive advisor.

"Yes," replied Luc. "I want your top-of-the-line HeloCar, with a place to put my fresh-squeezed mango juice and an superbly great CD player.

The automotive advisor smiled again. "I can sell you a HeloCar with food service and music service. Step right this way."

Luc carefully examined the well-designed HeloCar that the automotive advisor showed him. The workmanship was superb, and every element had its place. But when he looked inside, he noticed that there was something missing.

"Where's the cupholder and the CD player?" he asked.

"The HeloCar is an advanced device," replied the smiling automotive advisor. "It does not have a mere cupholder or CD player. Instead, we offer our own food service, HeloFood, and our own music service, HeloTunes."

"But what if I want to play my own CDs?" asked Jobs.

"HeloTunes is a comprehensive music service," replied the automotive advisor, still smiling. "We can provide you with a variety of music styles that are compatible with the design of the HeloCar, all for a price as low at 99 cents per song."

"So can I buy Edith Piaf for my HeloCar?" asked Luc.

The automotive advisor paused. "Edith Piaf is not appropriate for the HeloCar," she replied, slightly tersely. The smile was beginning to fade.

"Edith Piaf not appropriate?" asked Luc.

The smile had definitely left the automotive advisor's face. "HeloTunes offers a number of songs that are compatible with the HeloCar."

"But I'm your customer!" Rochedy was visibly angry. "I'd like to put my music on my CD player in my car! After all, I am paying for the car! I own the car, don't I?"

"Subject to the terms of the automotive license agreement," replied the automotive advisor.

Rochedy rolled his eyes, and his neck muscles were visibly tightening under his cravat. "Just give me a car which lets me play any music that I want!"

The automotive associate looked at Rochedy with an icy stare. "Then perhaps you should go visit the BKCar dealer down the street. They let you have it your way."

(Yes, much of this post is recycled, but the point is still the same.)
blog comments powered by Disqus